Revenge

At some point in our lives, there has been a time when someone has pissed us off so royally that all you can think about is how to get even with them. Here are some suggestions that a friend of mine collected over the years. ( Anyone with anymore suggestions can e-mail me and I will post them here =)

Miscellaneous.

If you have their full info, which shouldn't be a problem if you have their name/phone number/address etc, employ a few harassing ideas.

Report their cars as stolen. Tell the police the info, that you parked it at some office and when you came out your car was gone. Next time the person is driving down a road, if a cop ID's the car, they will pull the person over and harass them.

If the person is making a road trip, call local law enforcement and give an anonymous tip that the person is trafficking drugs, and has them well hidden in the car. Be somewhat vague but make it believable.

Steal their mail whenever you can. Sign them up for any magazine/club offer that comes to them. If they are a member of any existing clubs, then sign them up for additional years, order more merchandise, etc. This works well with Columbia House and the like because the order forms have their info, and just blanks to fill in part numbers/catalog numbers.

 

Their car. Using a wrench and five minutes or so, do one/all of the following:

Remove bottom bolt from engine mounts. When they start their car, the engine will launch almost straight up into the hood of their car if they have enough torque on their engine. V8's and 350's will rip the hood right off the car. :)

Remove oil plug, drain oil into container. Make sure you don't leave any sign of what you did. When they start their car and take off, it won't take long before parts start heating, and the engine will overheat, and the pistons will crack.

Siphon all their gas, and fill their tank with urine/salt/sand. This will clog their entire system, and take some time to flush the system, and get their car operating again.

Drain brake fluid, replace with water. It will take a few miles before the person realizes his brakes won't work.

Remove screw on clutch fluid tap. When they try to clutch, it will 'spooj' clutch fluid out the bottom of their car and they will lose pressure.

Remove drive shaft bolts near transmission. A little ways down the road, they may notive their drive shaft fall to the ground, or hopefully rocket through the back of your car.

Remove pins in tire stems after letting air out. Not only do they have a few flats, they can't fill up the tires.

Put popcorn kernels into the tailpipe along with some cooking oil. When he drives off (especially in the summer), he will leave a trail of popcorn. The oil will keep the kernels in as well as help them cook.

Remove the rubber blade from the windshield wipers.

Litter his bumpers with KKK bumper stickers.

Cover their windows with Vaseline. Make sure it sits there for the entire night. The next day, it will be near impossible to remove.

 

Get their neighbor's info, and pose as them. Make any/all of the following calls:

Call the police and tell them you saw the person dragging a dead body through the back yard.

Call the police and say the person was running through the house waving a machete and holding a gun.

Call the police and mention that 'shady' characters keep buying stuff in their back yard.

Go to your local book store or 7-11 and get about 100 magazine subscription cards. Fill each one out with the person's info, and send them off.

Phone contractors, swimming pool companies, exterminators, etc. can stop by and give him estimates. You can see why it is important to know when he'll be home.

Call local florists and have several arrangements of flowers sent, all with interesting messages on the cards. Send them COD or have it billed to that address (which most will allow you to do).

Look in swingers magazines for homosexual prostitutes. They are usually advertised as "masseurs" or "friends". Make a list of any that offer house calls and send half of them to the target's house. Also send some to each of his neighbors to create suspicion on their part of who they

 

Periodically call taxi and limo services to his house. Not only will he have to deal with pissed off drivers who aren't going to make any money for the drive, he will eventually get flagged in their databases as someone who has ditched cabs in the past.

 

If they lives with his parents, you can always call them up with a number of things.

This is John Johnson, I am a local sysop of a BBS. Your son has been sending child pornography to other under age subscribers and has broken FCC law by sending them over state lines.

This is Fred Barnes, and your son threw a rock at my sons cat. The rock hit the cat in the head, and we had to put him to sleep yesterday.
Uh, heh, yeah, this is Phil.. does (victim) still want the crack?
(Have a girlfriend call up). This is Jenny, and I wanted to be the one to give you the good news.. your a grandmom!

Pizza Delivery. Watch out though. Places like Pizza Hut and Dominoes have a central number that will ANI you, and forward you to the local office. So, you need to call from somewhere near their house, or tell the person you are on your cell phone, and that you will be home in just a few minutes.

 

A victim's front yard can provide plenty of amusement.

Use anti-freeze on their grass. Draw all sorts of wonderful designs and insult them. Or, if you want to do worse, just spill little spots of anti-freeze all over, so he will wonder why his grass is dying off in spots.

Cover his lawn in shredded newspaper, then douse it with water. Picking it up will take him days.

Go all around his neighborhood and steal all the 'for sale' signs (realty, yard sale), and cover his front lawn with them.

Purchase several boxes of white forks and stick them in the victim's lawn. If you can, wait until it is a night where the ground will freeze over. When they try to remove them, they will find each breaks off.